Staying Positive

Easy to type, its somewhat harder at times to actually be positive. Faking it is less so, and that is saddening, as when you get really good at it people can't tell the difference. If you've been faking for a while its even harder. There is little or nothing real left, and drumming something out of nothing is always hard.

There are people that don't have this issue - or shall I say there has to be somewhere. Rules of the universe pretty much dictates there should be, but then I've never met one. That's the point really, we all have periods of self doubt, no confidence or just feeling a bit crap about ourselves. It's the human condition, and everyone suffers at times. I always just think some people have shorter periods of affliction than others. Maybe that is due to better support or more awareness and experience in coping. Who knows why some people drag themselves out of a funk quickly, and with seemingly little to no effort. Maybe they don't, maybe that's their secret.

What I guess I'm trying to say is no one has the secret, there is no universal secret. I have had my problems, years of problems and the ever helpful suggestions to just do X, just be Y. Doesn't work. Life is not a paint by numbers. I don't know about you, but sometimes I've even had the exasperated exclaimations that if I just did this I'd be better, which are even worse to hear when you've tried that time and time before. So I'm not going to tell you to do what I do to build confidence, there are pages and pages of people sharing that advice.

I'm not going to share specifics, but I will say that I'm an analytical person, I like lists. In my brain there are lists of things I've tried. If they help even a little bit, they get moved to that list, if they don't well you can guess. Mainly thou I find its harder to be positive in a vacuum, that is without a little help. Especially if you've been faking it. Trying to concentrate on something you are good at is a good tactic, and it has helped me, but it's worked better when someone tells you that what you've done is good. When you are feeling totally pants, a compliment you actually believe gives a warm glow for a reason - its something that can start stoking the fire of your self-confidence when its going out.  Sharing your need for a few firelighters on your confidence fire is OK, it is not a sign of weakness. I try all the things, sometimes they work and other times they don't. Sometimes I need to get out and put on the brave face and challenge it head on. Other times I need to retreat and cocoon into bed with chocolate and netflix. Each way its easier to do with good company.

One builder trying to build a house can do it, but its going to take much longer than a whole crew. Your confidence doesn't need a superman who can do it all, it needs a foreman who knows what needs to be done, what tools are required, and most importantly who is best to help you in getting it done.

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