Stop the world, get off the ride.

Why the radio silence for the past three weeks? If you follow me on social media you might have gotten an idea, not that much was there either, but essentially I just got off the ride. 

It's not something I've written about much, but like a lot of bloggers out there I have my mental health issues. Not wanting to seem like another bandwagon jumper or anything like that, and given that before they were pretty much managed and under control it didn't "come up" as such. I wasn't in treatment, I was doing good, except for the whole social phobia. Famous last words really, turned out they came up and bit my ass with a vengeance! So, in the words of the doctor I got off the ride for a few weeks to sort myself out. No work, no nothing really except some baking and lots of Pokemon Go. No sleep either, that one was not the most fun. 

Sometimes getting off the ride is the best thing you can do. I mean, truthfully, my shit is not fixed by any means, but taking a break from everything gets you out of the stream you get dragged through day to day and lets you sort out what you need. There's no flow that is pulling you along, you get off the journey that seems like a never ending swirl of work-home-sleep (or lack of) and really chill and work out what the glitch is that got you into that state again. Have you had this? It's one of those things that I think makes you feel like a failure - you've done this before you should have seen it coming or if you did, should have nipped it in the bug first. I guess that can be even harder to do though. 

A holiday is great but, maybe its me, there is almost a pressure to make the most of a holiday right? When you crumble badly, like I have been, you need to take time but, well this sort of thing isn't a holiday, its a reset. Stop the system, reboot the drive and figure out what went wrong or what was missing. Evaluate and reassess, make the changes you need to make to make you, well to make you "you" again. So maybe you might notice a few changes to stuff, because like all things I did my thinking about all of this too. For starters, you might have noticed that etsy shop is back at the top. I guess what I'm saying is it might be becoming a slightly different fairground now, but hopefully you guys still enjoy the rides. 

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